


My Return

by ClassyNerd



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Dalish, Lost Love, Returning Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 18:25:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3906217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyNerd/pseuds/ClassyNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alistair had asked me once what the Dalish did for their dead. I told him how we plant the Vallasdahlen, in remembrance of those who dedicated their lives to the Dalish kingdom. Life growing out of death. I resolved that day I would plant one for Tamlen in our special spot under the stars. He'd want me to. Or, at least I like to think that.</p><p>"Loraine," a quiet voice whispers while a hand shakes my shoulder. It sounds like . . . no, it can't be. That's not possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Return

My clan is gone, they had journeyed into the Free Marches after I was conscripted into the Wardens. I am returning home. Or, at least what used to be my home. Now it's a ghost of a past I can chase but will be forever out of reach.   
  
Thanks to many allies and my companions, the Archdemon has been defeated. Three months ago, in fact. I would have preferred to have left Denerim sooner, but Alistair forbid it, Creators bless him. Well, not exactly forbid me. More like begging me on his hands and knees to not leave him at the mercy of his advisers. After persuading him that he did not need my help to rule his kingdom, I packed a few provisions and began my journey. It was a bittersweet day, leaving my friends behind. I shall miss them all. They hosted one last feast in my honor the night before my departure. Oghren tried to make me drink some foul smelling brew, which almost made me pass out from the stench. I declined, afraid it would give me a hangover that would last for days. He just laughed, saying he knew I always had a weak stomach and drank it himself. Sten and Zevran had already left, and Morrigan disappeared into thin air after our victory. Just like she said she would. Perhaps I shall find her one day, perhaps not. I do not know if I want to.   
  
The suns rays shine through the trees. Forest surrounds me, it's green arms welcoming me home. I walk slowly, savoring each step. Birds chirp gaily in the trees, and for a moment I forget my past and my sorrow. Wildflowers dot my path. I close my eyes, inhaling the fresh and familiar scent of pine and flowers. I'm home.  
  
I swallow a lump in my throat when I see paths that Tamlen and I took. I can hear our laughter echoing through the forest, the spark in his eyes when I would mention some grand scheme of mischief. And now he's gone. Forever.   
  
Guilt and blame has followed me since that day, and I wish I could tell him I am sorry. Sorry that I didn't stop him, sorry I couldn't save him. Sorry that I never told him I loved him.  
  
But the past is the past, the future is what lies ahead. Yet I don't want to go on without him. But I have to. I will, though it pains me. I had made that choice long ago.  
  
I'll allow myself these few months to travel alone. I'll have time to think, reminisce, mourn. The darkspawn did not allow me the luxury in the few weeks where I was transformed from a Dalish hunter into a Warden Commander.   
  
The sun is just setting behind the trees. I follow the forest paths deeper and deeper into the forest, and finally arrive at our old camp. No sign of our existence remains here. No campfires, no footprints in the dust. Only my memories. I walk into the clearing and set up camp where my aravel used to be. Well, not mine alone. We had ten people inside. We were crowded, but we were happy. I lay out my bedroll. It is positioned just right so I'll be able to look into the stars at night. Tamlen and I used to do that often. We'd walk to this rise that rose above the trees, and lay on our backs and stare at the stars. We'd stay up all night, until dawn rose on the horizon.  
  
Those were days I will never forget.   
  
That is where I walk now, to the hill that reaches to the stars. Alistair had asked me once what the Dalish did for their dead. I told him how we plant the Vallasdahlen, in remembrance of those who dedicated their lives to the Dalish kingdom. Life growing out of death. I resolved that day I would plant one for Tamlen in our special spot under the stars. He'd want me to. Or, at least I like to think that. I reach the grassy hill and climb up it. Reaching the top, I finger the seed in my fingers.   
  
"Ar lath ma, Tamlen." I whisper as I kneel, before I can get lost in our memories. Running my fingers through the cool soil, I gently dig a hole for his seed. Covering it back up, a slight breeze begins to blow, whipping my hair from my face. A single tear runs down my cheek as I stare at the patch of soil. It is done. Curling up into a ball, I fall asleep under the light of the pale moon.  
  
"Loraine," a quiet voice whispers while a hand shakes my shoulder. It sounds like . . . no, it can't be. That's not possible. My eyes stay shut. "Loraine, wake up. It's me."  
  
I open them. And there he is.  
  
"No," I say, backing away from him. "This isn't real. This has to be a dream." The wind is blowing harder now, and I realize how cold it is against my skin. The moon is high above us, I must have been asleep for only an hour.   
  
His face looks pained, "It's me, Loraine. This isn't a dream." His hand reaches for mine. It is warm, and I can feel the callouses upon his palm.  
  
"It can't be . . ." I say, still dazed. Am I dreaming? How can it be possible? Tamlen is dead. Yet now he's kneeling here before me. Is he a ghost, a spirit?  
  
"I know what your thinking. But I  _am_  real. Can't you feel me? I'm not a spirit or some weird spooky thing, I'm me." He says, leaning forward.  
  
I throw my arms around him. "Ir abelas, ir abelas," I say as I hold on to him as tightly as I can. How is he alive?   
  
"There's no need to be sorry, although you might choke me to death."   
  
"Oh, oops," I say as I draw back with a sheepish smile on my face.   
  
"Why are you crying, lethallan?" he says as he wipes a few tears that I hadn't noticed were sliding down my cheeks.  
  
"Ar numin nehn," I say as I lean into his touch. I close my eyes. If this is a dream, I will savor every moment. He sighs, and draws me into his arms. They are strong, familiar. The familiar scent of pine and leather fills my nose. His hand rubs my back in a comforting manner. "Ar lath ma," I whisper. If this is a dream, at least I will feel like I told him the truth when I wake up. His hand stops, and I worry my bottom lip. Will he be upset?  
  
Instead, I feel a kiss being pressed into my hair. "I know," he whispers.   
  
"How?"  
  
"Well, I didn't know for certain, but I hoped you did. Because I've always loved you."    
  
I look into his eyes, the stars shining above him. His face appears older than I remember, and I notice a scar on his brow. I lean in closer, so does he. My heart flutters at the idea of him kissing me. I've never been kissed, though Zevran tried to on several occasions. He got a fist to the face.   
  
He gently presses his lips to mine. Leaning back, he rests his forehead against mine. "Ar lath ma."  
  
"Ar lath ma, Tamlen." I fold into his arms again, and out of his bag he pulls a blanket out and wraps it around us. The wind has died down. All that matters is that I'm in Tamlen's arms, even though he may be gone in the morning. I admit, I'm hoping this isn't a dream. Enclosed in his warmth, I fall asleep.  
  
                                                                                                           ~*~  
  
"Wake up, ma'vhenan." I feel a kiss being pressed to my forehead. I murmur something unintelligible, then remember: Tamlen. I try to sit up too quickly, and fall back down in a heap. Someone's arms are around me. A deep chuckle reverberates through his body. "It's okay, I'm not going to kill you."  
  
"Last night wasn't a dream?" I wonder aloud, now that I've awakened. Somewhat. I rub my groggy eyes and notice Tamlen leaning over me with a smile on his face. I notice the Grey Warden insignia on his breastplate, and know how he survived the darkspawn's taint. I run my fingers over it, tracing it's edges.  
  
"No, it wasn't. Which I'm glad for."  
  
I smile as he kisses me gently, and I praise the Creators for another chance to begin my life anew. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was just a random thought that turned into this short story. Based off the story in my head where Loraine Mahariel is reunited with Tamlen. If only.   
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Elvish I used:  
> Ir abelas~I'm sorry.  
> Lethallan~Reference used for someone with whom one is familiar. Lethallan is used for females while lethallin is used for males.  
> Ar numin nehn~I am crying (for) joy.  
> Ar lath ma~I love you.  
> Ma'vhenan~My heart.


End file.
